Archive for 2006

It’s Not Luck, It’s Planning

Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.

–46th & Madison Ave.

Overheard by: Douglas Quade

MySpace Girl’s Fave Spot: Madison Square Garden

Chick #1: What do you want to do now?
Chick #2: I don’t know.
Chick #1: Well, why don’t we go to Webster Hall?
Chick #2: Where?
Chick #1: Webster Hall… I was talking to this girl on MySpace and she said that Webster Hall is this upscale lounge.
Chick #2: I could do with an upscale lounge.
Chick #1: I agree, I’m sick of these loud-ass clubs and shit.

–Times Square station

Overheard by: Shen

Maybe She Just Smoked Too Much

Teen girl #1: Here comes Peter Cottontail. . .
Teen girl #2: Hopping up the bunny trail!
Teen girl #1: What the hell? It’s down the bunny trail, you idiot!
Teen girl #2: How am I supposed to know? I was MJ’ed when I was younger.
Teen girl #1: MJ’ed?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, you know, Michael Jacksoned…
Teen girl #1: They molested you?!
Teen girl #2: Yes, they molested me and that’s why I don’t know the words to Peter Cottontail… whorebag.

–M96 bus

Overheard by: TrEeShA

Does Psycho Killer Start with P?

Girl: I’m thinking of an animal that starts with a P.
Guy: Porcupine?
Girl: No. Wait, are those big smears of blood all over that subway map?
Guy: I think they’re paint.
Girl: They’re totally blood.
Guy: [looks harder] Yeah, you’re totally right… Penguin?
Girl: Nope!

–1 train

Overheard by: djlindee