Archive for 2006

Mom Gets Her In­ner Ho-Bag Out of the Garage

Man: It was nice to meet you. Now will you shake my hand?
Lit­tle boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Lit­tle boy: Be­cause she gave you her num­ber, but she al­ready has a boyfriend! I don’t like that.
Woman: Shut up. That’s not true.
Lit­tle boy: If it is­n’t, then why did it say “Ja­son and Tr­ish, to­geth­er for­ev­er” on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: To­geth­er for­ev­er, my ass; now shut up!

–Q37 bus, Lib­er­ty Ave

But the Rocky Moun­tain Oys­ters Are a Lit­tle Bet­ter Back Home

Tam­my Ealom: When I’m in New York, I eat way too much Chi­nese food.
Dude: Did you go to Chi­na­town?
Tam­my Ealom: No, just some place up the street. When you come from Den­ver, pret­ty much every­thing is good.

–Dressy Bessy show, Sin‑e, At­tor­ney & Stan­ton

Over­heard by: Hobo Whis­per­er