Fashionista #1: We really spent a lot of money on ourselves today.
Fashionista #2: Yeah, we did some damage.
Fashionista #1: Next week we need to, like–
Fashionista #2: –Do charity work?
Fashionista #1, laughing: Seriously. Can we buy something cute for that?
–50th & 5th
Overheard by: Amused
High school girl: Um, excuse me, Frenchie? Can I get a picture with you?
Frenchie Davis: I’m sorry, I simply don’t have time for this tonight. [Starts to walk away]High school girl: Please? It’s my birthday.
Frenchie, over her shoulder: Sweetheart, it’s always someone’s birthday. You are going to have to do better than that.
–Outside the Nederlander Theatre, W 41st St
Overheard by: AJ
Doorman #1: What if she was a Chinese woman, would you help her?
Doorman #2: Oh, hell no.
–W 77th St
Overheard by: Cole Goadbog
Wistful girl: I was thinking about that guy I used to hook up with all the time, and it really makes me sad for what I’m missing.
Practical girl: What, AIDS?
–Grand Central
Mother, to young son: It’s not a nice thing to say. It’s like saying a curse word.
Stranger on bench: Fuck you!
–Union Sq Park
Overheard by: the other stranger on the bench
Girl: But can’t the police seize it if it’s a crime scene?
Logistical genius: If the police could seize a crime scene, no one in Brooklyn would have a house.
–Backyard barbeque, Fort Greene
Overheard by: inge
Transparent guy: That’s why gay guys are the best.
The straight man: How so?
Transparent guy: Gay guys are just bags of hormones. If they want sex, they just ask for it. Girls are like, “Let’s all play coy and innocent!“
The straight man: I never thought of it like that.
Transparent guy: Gay guys are like, “Put your balls into my butt” kinda thing.
The straight man, laughing: Yeah, if I was gay I’d probably have sex all the time.
Transparent guy: Me too…Like just go out…find some gay dude… and touch his balls.
The straight man: Dude, what are you on?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
Girl in lacy red tank top, black bra and low-cut pants, with a lower-back tattoo, on cell: So I had an 8:45 meeting with a congressman today that I totally forgot about. It’s like 8:50!
–77th & 3rd
Slutty girl: My high school history teacher ate my pussy. Then the science teacher. He ate my pussy. Then in college my freshman philosophy professor and my junior year economics professor, they ate my pussy.
Practical girl: You need to put out a Zagat guide to your twat.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: PDJ
Tweeny future emo boy: The fucking problem with Hamlet is that the real tragedy is Laertes, not the goddamn Prince of Denmark.
Tweeny future fag hag girl: It’s the tragedy of the Prince of Denmark. That’s what it’s called.
TFE boy: Hamlet kills the guy’s father, sister, and then him. Who has the real tragedy?
TFFH girl: Mel Gibson?
–Outside Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Marc
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist