Archive for 2006

So He Does­n’t Cure So­cial Dis­eases?

Bar­tender: Yeah, I know him, he’s a pro­fes­sor of so­cial stud­ies at Co­lum­bia.
Mid­dle-Aged woman: That’s my school! I think it’s so great that he’s a so­cial work­er.
Bar­tender: Um, he’s a pro­fes­sor of so­cial stud­ies.
Mid­dle-Aged woman: Right, a so­cial work­er.
Bar­tender: No, he’s a pro­fes­sor of so­cial stud­ies. That does­n’t make him a so­cial work­er.
Mid­dle-Aged woman: No?

–81st & Am­s­ter­dam

Cream Rinse

Teenage girl #1: Well, did you know he was go­ing to come all over your chest, or was that a suprise?
Teenage girl #2: I don’t think he even re­al­ized he was do­ing it.
Teenage girl #1: Oh…I think I see some of it in your hair.

–Crosstown bus, 79th St

Over­heard by: very in­ter­est­ed

Maybe if You’d Gone Down on me Like I Asked You to…

Lit­tle boy: Mom! Look, can­dy! I want can­dy!
Moth­er: No, you can’t have can­dy. Be­sides, they on­ly put that there to trick you in­to buy­ing it when you don’t re­al­ly want it. It’s called an im­pulse buy. Do you want to be tricked?
Lit­tle boy: Mooom! Why won’t you buy me caaandy?!
Moth­er: Be­cause I don’t love you enough.

–Block­buster, 8th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Emi­ly