Archive for 2006

Be­cause She Was Fat

Queer #1: Atreyu or Bas­t­ian?
Queer #2: Eww. No. They’re kids.
Queer #1: It’s not re­al. Atreyu or Bas­t­ian?
Queer #2: Fal­cor.
Queer #1: You and your hairy guys.
Woman: I want you guys to know I just re­al­ized why I did­n’t sit at the pop­u­lar ta­ble in the mid­dle school lunch room.

–Pax Deli, 36th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Matthew K. John­son

No, Ac­tu­al­ly Just He and the Plant Are Work­ing To­geth­er

Tourist, point­ing at hobo: You stay right there. I’ll be back; you have my word.
Friend #1: What are you do­ing?
Tourist: I’m go­ing to give this guy some mon­ey, but I don’t have any on me.
Hobo: Bless you.

Friends all open their wal­lets.

Hobo: Bless you, guys. See, we’re all work­ing to­geth­er!

–7th Ave be­tween 8th & 9th, Park Slope

Over­heard by: jay­loo

When the Nose Job’s a Lit­tle Too Good, You Play Down the Is­rael Line Just in Case

Kid: Would you like to buy some lemon­ade or iced tea?
La­dy: Sure, what are you plan­ning to use the mon­ey for?
Kid: Last week we were col­lect­ing mon­ey for Is­raeli sol­diers. This week we’re sav­ing for a nice va­ca­tion.

–Apart­ment build­ing en­trance, Up­per West Side

Over­heard by: Julie