Archive for 2006

When the Student Is Ready, the Teacher Will Appear

Skinny construction worker: All I know is…
Obese construction worker: I told you I don’t wanna hear it!
Skinny construction worker: Listen, I’m just gonna say this once, and I’ll let it go.
Obese construction worker: I said I don’t wanna hear it!
Skinny construction worker: Nobody, and I mean nobody, should sweat when they eat. There, I said it!

–McDonald’s, Wall St

Overheard by: Robert

Retail Therapy Soothes Even the Most Troubled Upper East Side Soul

Upper-East-Side lady on cell: I know, but I was at a funeral all day…Yeah, it was sad, but I really didn’t know him at all…This saddest thing was seeing his daughters upset. They’re the same ages as–Wow! This shirt is only $19!! You can’t even buy a freaking Frappuccino for $19! I’m getting it in blue.

–Banana Republic, 86th & 3rd

Overheard by: DC

That’s Just So He Doesn’t Get Fired From His Sumo Job

Burly man: …but that’s just me. I think it’s ridiculous for Chicago to ban foie gras when you can buy veal anywhere. How is veal any more cruel? But I admit, it’s just me. I’m a big foodie. I love the finer things in life. I just have to enjoy all the finest foods.
Dyke: But you just said you eat Taco Bell 4 times a week.

–DBA bar, 1st Ave between 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: common people