Archive for 2006

Everything I Need to Know About Cosmology I Learned in Four Years of Ninth Grade

Teen girl: Is the universe, like, the whole world or just the United States?
Guy: Dude, it’s, like, everything in existence.
Ghetto guy: Nuh-uh! It’s just like a group. Our universe is the Milky Way.
Guy: You’re an idiot. It includes the Milky Way, but that’s not what it is.
Ghetto guy: I went to four years of high school. I think I would know.

–M96 bus

Overheard by: Treesha

He Sees You As an Alternative Target, Not Protection

Chinese guy: Hey, now that you’re here we can go to Sylvia’s in Harlem and get some soul food.
Black guy: What do you mean, “now that I’m here”? What, you can’t go to Harlem by yourself, but now that you’ve got your token black you’re safe? That’s fucked up.
Chinese guy: Let me ask you something: would you go to Harlem alone at night?
Black guy: OK, that’s not the point.


Overheard by: Ricky

From the Trailer for Disney/Pixar’s Ratatouille

Woman: You know how those animal people are, though. I mean, I speak to them, though! I’ve done pigeon rescues and stuff before. I love animals.
Man: Did you ever bury your rats?
Woman: No… I just can’t bring myself to do it.
Man: How long has it been? Three years?
Woman: Yeah. They’re still in my freezer.
Man: Just bury them already!
Woman: I can’t bring myself to do it! They were my favorite!
Man: But they’re IN YOUR FREEZER! Why not have them stuffed, then?
Woman: What? No! That would be wacky!

–A train, 207th St

Overheard by: Auston McLain