Archive for 2006

He Took Care of That Him­self

HS girl #1: I saw on TV last night they were say­ing how you can bring peo­ple back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Uh, how dead?
HS girl #1: Like Hitler…
HS girl #3: That’s crazy. I read the Bible. You can not bring peo­ple back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Fool, they brought Je­sus back from the dead.

–Health Op­por­tu­ni­ties High School, South Bronx

It’s Talk Ra­dio, Live!

Bag la­dy: Could some­one spare some change? My wel­fare was de­nied.
Crazy la­dy: Yeah, yeah, they de­nied mine the first time too. Get over it.
Man: Does any­one know how to get to–
Crazy la­dy: They aren’t lis­ten­ing, they aren’t go­ing to talk to you. They can’t talk. They are all mute.

–F train

That Re­minds Me; I Need to Get a Gun

Store girl: Here’s your re­ceipt and have a hap­py hol­i­day!
Store guy: The hol­i­days are over.
Store girl: Valen­tine’s Day is com­ing up.

–Maz­zone True Val­ue Hard­ware, Car­roll Gar­dens

Over­heard by: Rob

Thug guy: Yo, hap­py New Year’s, man.
Jan­i­tor guy: New Year’s is over, yo.
Thug guy: Hap­py Moth­er’s Day!

–Port Au­thor­i­ty