Guy #1: Oh my god man! I just saw my ex!
Guy #2: So…fuck her!
Guy #1: Yeah,… fuck that fucking cunt…fucking cunt!
Guy #2: Did she look hot…?
Guy #1: Cunt.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Al Wilner
Archive for 2006
A Real Porn Star Would’ve Held out Longer than 5 Minutes
Guy: He’s kind of cute.
Girl: No he’s not, I do not approve.
Guy: Whatever, I think he’s a really interesting person.
Girl: Of course he’s interesting. He’s addicted to coke and he’s a gay porn star and we know all of this about him and we’ve only known him for 5 minutes.
–no idea bar 20th St & 5th Ave
From JC Penney to Stardom Was Just A Hop, Skip, and a Jump for RuPaul
Little boy: Ewww…ewww….
Mom: Stop saying ewww..those are bras..
Little boy: I hate bras
Mom: Don’t say that, you’ll change your mind when you gets older.
–JC Penney lingerie department, Queens
Overheard by: a fellow shopper
She Never Had the Chance to Let it Out
Old matronly black woman: Wanna go to a hotel? I feel like fucking…Let’s go!
Young Pakistani waiter: Get out of here, you crazy old bat!
Old matronly black woman: I still got it in me to fuck!
–Coffee Shop, Bronx
Overheard by: soulgrrl
Seniors: Someone’s Already Gotten to This Guy. He Can Barely Think Straight!
Ghetto guy: They got Freshman Friday at my school.
Ghetto girl: What’s Freshman Friday?
Ghetto guy: That’s when they fuck up the freshmen.
Ghetto girl: You a freshman!
Ghetto guy: So? They ain’t gonna grab me…I’m gonna…Whatever.
–Bronx bound 1 Train
Overheard by: Krisztina
Think We Should Tell Her What I Got Pierced?
Woman #1: Rhoda! Did you see Chrissie’s tattoo?
Woman #2: Oh no!
Woman #1: And here.
Woman #2 to teen: Are you crazy? Do you know what that shit is going to look like when you get pregnant and it stretches all out and hangs there? I ought to kick you both down these steps throwing good money away.
–Met Steps
Overheard by: Blondie
Coaching Children is Like Herding Cats
Soccer coach: You have to kick from your shoelaces.
Girl #1: I don’t have any laces!
Girl #2 with mismatched shoes: Do you like my shoes?
–P.S. 158, 77th & York
Overheard by: Jen
Clearly, Both of Them Would do Anything for Love
Guy: I can’t stand ham. It’ tastes like bootleg meatloaf.
Girl: What?
Guy: It tastes like meatloaf if R. Kelly got to it.
Girl: What’s R. Kelly got to do with meatloaf?
Guy: C’mon. You know what R. Kelly with do with meatloaf if he got ahold of some, don’t you?
–Quiznos, 23rd St & Madison
Overheard by: Jatmos
What all Those Sperm Banks Really do With it
Drunk hipster #1: Yeah…snort cum.
Drunk hipster #2: How could I snort cum? It’s impossible!
Drunk hipster #1: Nothing is impossible.
Drunk hipster #2: But it’s so sticky. I really don’t think that’s possible…unless maybe it was in powder form.
Drunk hipster #1: Wow! We’re those guys on the train everyone wants to shut up.
–C train
Sweetie, if You Think Changing Clothes Will Let you Blend in, You’re Even More of a New Englander than You Realize
Bostonian Girl: I need to get clothes for the city.
Bostonian Guy: What’s wrong with what you have?
Bostonian Girl: Are you kidding? We’re in New York City, you can’t wear North Face in NYC. They’ll be able to tell we’re New Englanders from a mile away.
–Fordham University