Archive for 2006

Mel Gibson: ‘None of That Actually Happened.’

Old drunk guy: You guys know anything about health and nutrition?
Guy: Clearly not, as we’re drinking beer.
Old drunk guy: Oh… Good point. Well, this may be weird, but remember the Holocaust? Yeah, the Germans found out that the best diets are when you eat the same thing that you’re made of. You know… They learned this because, you know, they would feed families to one another but nobody else realized it. This is why it’s good to eat red meat. Yeah, pretty crazy huh? Ok, bye.
Guy: Yikes.

–Ryan’s Daughter, 85th & 1St

Overheard by: Greg

Now I Have her Happy Ass to Hate

Loud lady #1: My daughter is so happy, I mean she is just so happy! I look at her and I think, ‘Who is this happy person?’
Loud lady #2: That’s because she knows she is loved…
Loud lady #3: When I was her age I was writing in my diary, ‘I hate myself I wish I was dead.’

–53rd & Broadway

Overheard by: on my honeymoon

Biggie: At Last, Someone Understands my Message!

Big white dyke: You know what we should do? We should call Hugh and all our slutty friends. They could all come over and get drunk, and we’d put on some rap.
Big black dyke: What?
Big white dyke: No, seriously, I was at my friends’ party and we put on a Biggie Smalls album. Fifteen minutes later it was the sleaziest party I’ve ever been to.

–Brooklyn bound Q

Overheard by: Benjamin