Little boy: I didn’t bring my sword!
Father: Why not?
Little boy: It’s not big enough.
Father: Son, size doesn’t matter.
–Medieval Festival, Fort Tryon Park
Overheard by: Mikeyg
Archive for 2006
At a Support Group for Child Actors Cast on Law & Order: SVU
Preschool girl: W W W.
Helpful Mom: Dot.
Preschool girl: WWW dot porn!
–Uptown 4 train
I Can’t Believe You Managed to Catch the Bus
Lady #1: Is this express?
Lady #2, looking at her purse: Oh no, this is Prada
Lady #3: I think she was asking about the bus.
Lady #2: Oh…Can you believe I got this on sale?
–M4 Bus, going down 5th Ave
Overheard by: Lil wayne
Amber, We’re Strippers
Bimbette #1: This new dress code is gonna suck! Like half my paycheck is on clothes already!
Bimbette #2: I think you’re ok.
Bimbette #1: You sure? My boob fell out like in front of everybody yesterday.
–Elevator, 45 W 45th St
Overheard by: MaryMary
Why Whitey Doesn’t Let Blacks Own Cordage Firms
Ghetto chick: We gotta take down the white man, one at a time.Like that one!
Ghetto guy: I don’t know. He’s mad tall.
Ghetto chick: You right, you right. We’d need mad rope.
–2nd Ave & 67th St
But I Heard in the Book She Actually Lives
Bimbettte, looking at a painting of Joan of Arc: Oooh, that’s so pretty!
Boyfriend: Did you see the movie?
Bimbette: Yeah, didn’t she die or something?
–The Met
Osama bin Laden: You Guys Sure You’re Happy with Western Civilization?
Student #1: Have you seen that movie Clockwork Orange?
Student #2: I’ve never heard of that. What’s it about?
Student #1: It’s about rape. And death. And like everything bad in the world. But like, really cool.
–Uptown A train
Overheard by: Vinny Lopez
I’m Not Sure She Wants to Weigh in on whether You Should Get Your Pubes Shaved Into a Heart or a Star
Queer #1: I totally wish I knew Madonna right now.
Queer #2: Why?
Queer #1: I would totally go over to her apartment right now and talk to her about these things.
Queer #2: Yeah, I know what you mean.
–West Village
Overheard by: Rachel Rockafella
Lab Rocks Are too Expensive to Be Handled by Undergrads
Girl: Is this a real rock, or was it, like, grown in a laboratory?
Professor: It’s real.
–Barnard University
And, I Mean, If She Were Still Alive and All
Girl: If I were a lesbian, I’d totally go for her!
Guy: Who?
Girl: Priscilla! Well…I mean, if she weren’t my sister.
–M23 Bus
Overheard by: Claire