Then Dad Told Him the Story of the Sword in Sharon Stone

Little boy: I didn’t bring my sword!
Father: Why not?
Little boy: It’s not big enough.
Father: Son, size doesn’t matter.

–Medieval Festival, Fort Tryon Park

Overheard by: Mikeyg

I Can’t Believe You Managed to Catch the Bus

Lady #1: Is this express?
Lady #2, looking at her purse: Oh no, this is Prada
Lady #3: I think she was asking about the bus.
Lady #2: Oh…Can you believe I got this on sale?

–M4 Bus, going down 5^th Ave

Overheard by: Lil wayne

Amber, We’re Strippers

Bimbette #1: This new dress code is gonna suck! Like half my paycheck is on clothes already!
Bimbette #2: I think you’re ok.
Bimbette #1: You sure? My boob fell out like in front of everybody yesterday.

–Elevator, 45 W 45^th St

Overheard by: MaryMary

Why Whitey Doesn’t Let Blacks Own Cordage Firms

Ghetto chick: We gotta take down the white man, one at a time.Like that one!
Ghetto guy: I don’t know. He’s mad tall.
Ghetto chick: You right, you right. We’d need mad rope.

–2^nd Ave & 67^th St

But I Heard in the Book She Actually Lives

Bimbettte, looking at a painting of Joan of Arc: Oooh, that’s so pretty!
Boyfriend: Did you see the movie?
Bimbette: Yeah, didn’t she die or something?

–The Met

Osama bin Laden: You Guys Sure You’re Happy with Western Civilization?

Student #1: Have you seen that movie Clockwork Orange?
Student #2: I’ve never heard of that. What’s it about?
Student #1: It’s about rape. And death. And like everything bad in the world. But like, really cool.

–Uptown A train

Overheard by: Vinny Lopez

I’m Not Sure She Wants to Weigh in on whether You Should Get Your Pubes Shaved Into a Heart or a Star

Queer #1: I totally wish I knew Madonna right now.
Queer #2: Why?
Queer #1: I would totally go over to her apartment right now and talk to her about these things.
Queer #2: Yeah, I know what you mean.

–West Village

Overheard by: Rachel Rockafella

Lab Rocks Are too Expensive to Be Handled by Undergrads

Girl: Is this a real rock, or was it, like, grown in a laboratory?
Professor: It’s real.

–Barnard University

And, I Mean, If She Were Still Alive and All

Girl: If I were a lesbian, I’d totally go for her!
Guy: Who?
Girl: Priscilla! Well…I mean, if she weren’t my sister.

–M23 Bus

Overheard by: Claire

A Drink and a Hat: It’s the Apex of Human Civilization

Guy #1: Shut up! Why are you so obsessed with sombreros? Every time I talk to you it’s sombreros, sombreros, sombreros!
Guy #2: Isn’t this, like, the first time we’ve ever talked?
Guy #1: Yeah, and it’s about sombreros, isn’t it?

–NYU