Archive for 2006

It’s a Koan

Kid: I’ve never been to New York City before!
Mom: You live in New York City. This is Manhattan, but you live in New York City.
Kid: Well, I mean I’ve never been to New York City before.

–42nd & 8th Ave

A Fellini Film

Hobo to unconscious friend: Yo man, let’s get some coke! I don’t be playing, let’s get some coke! [Two minutes later] Psssh, ain’t no such thing as a good kid. All them fucked up. Yo man, you look like Barry White. Anyone ever tell you that? [No response.] Stupid. [Reaches into his plastic bag and pulls out a clown mask which he puts over his face.] 

–LIRR waiting area

Overheard by: pretending my train just arrived

I Have People Who Do that for Me

Pope: So you said 300 percent return?
Bee: Definitely, man — 300 percent!
Pope: So I’ll have my people call your people.
Bee: Yeah, let’s have our people talk.
Pope: My people will totally be in touch with your people, man.
Bee: Okay, dude. Then let’s get high.

–Halloween party, Brooklyn

I’m Just the Sous-Chef

NYU student: What’s on that pizza?
Dining hall employee: Meat.
NYU student: What?
Dining hall employee: And tomato.
NYU student: Chicken?
Dining hall employee: No, tomato. Tomato!
NYU student: Yeah, but what’s the meat?
Dining hall employee: Meat.
NYU student: What kind of meat?
Dining hall employee: Meat. I don’t know. Meatloaf.

–NYU Dining Hall

Overheard by: sjhaughty

How He Convinced Her that Semen Is Brain Food

Man: I’ll give you 10 bucks if you can tell me what baseball team is popular in Philly.
Woman: Duh, it’s the Red Sox! …What? Boston is in Philly.
Man: Sweetie, Boston isn’t in Philly.
Woman: Don’t lie to me, you know how easy I fall for things!
Man: But Boston is in Massachusetts.
Woman: That’s what I said!

–E 23rd St & Lex

Overheard by: Lisa