Archive for 2006

It’s a Koan

Kid: I’ve nev­er been to New York City be­fore!
Mom: You live in New York City. This is Man­hat­tan, but you live in New York City.
Kid: Well, I mean I’ve nev­er been to New York City be­fore.

–42nd & 8th Ave

And What’s La­bor?

Fash­ion­ista #1: Oh my god, look — white pants af­ter La­bor Day — so trashy.
Fash­ion­ista #2: Ew. Yeah.
Fash­ion­ista #1: When is La­bor Day, any­way?
Fash­ion­ista #2: I don’t know.

–So­Ho

A Felli­ni Film

Hobo to un­con­scious friend: Yo man, let’s get some coke! I don’t be play­ing, let’s get some coke! [Two min­utes lat­er] Psssh, ain’t no such thing as a good kid. All them fucked up. Yo man, you look like Bar­ry White. Any­one ever tell you that? [No re­sponse.] Stu­pid. [Reach­es in­to his plas­tic bag and pulls out a clown mask which he puts over his face.]

–LIRR wait­ing area

Over­heard by: pre­tend­ing my train just ar­rived

I Have Peo­ple Who Do that for Me

Pope: So you said 300 per­cent re­turn?
Bee: Def­i­nite­ly, man — 300 per­cent!
Pope: So I’ll have my peo­ple call your peo­ple.
Bee: Yeah, let’s have our peo­ple talk.
Pope: My peo­ple will to­tal­ly be in touch with your peo­ple, man.
Bee: Okay, dude. Then let’s get high.

–Hal­loween par­ty, Brook­lyn

I’m Just the Sous-Chef

NYU stu­dent: What’s on that piz­za?
Din­ing hall em­ploy­ee: Meat.
NYU stu­dent: What?
Din­ing hall em­ploy­ee: And toma­to.
NYU stu­dent: Chick­en?
Din­ing hall em­ploy­ee: No, toma­to. Toma­to!
NYU stu­dent: Yeah, but what’s the meat?
Din­ing hall em­ploy­ee: Meat.
NYU stu­dent: What kind of meat?
Din­ing hall em­ploy­ee: Meat. I don’t know. Meat­loaf.

–NYU Din­ing Hall

Over­heard by: sjhaughty