Teen girl #1: Are you, like, anorexic now?
Teen girl #2: That is the nicest thing you ever said to me.
–66th & Columbus
Archive for 2006
Just Be Crippled So You’ll Need Me
Blond: You need to go jump off this balcony right now.
Brunette: It’s the first floor!
Blond: Good, ’cause then you’ll just break your leg. I love you, I don’t want you to die!
–80th & Amsterdam
Just the Worst Home Depot Saturday Ever
Man #1: How was your weekend?
Man #2: Shitty.
Man #1: Well… When did you first suspect your mother was gay?
Man #2: I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?
–Union Square
Long Hair and Exotic Good Looks, Notwithstanding
Guy #1: Sounds like she really misses you.
Guy #2: Yeah, she does, but what am I supposed to do? If you’re not happy, you’re not happy. What? Am I supposed to suffer just to make her happy? I’m not Jesus.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Vivek
He Dresses as a Postal Employee for Halloween
Little boy: Look, Mommy, that man is dressed up as the UPS man for Halloween!
UPS man: No, this is my life.
–Rockefeller Center Concourse
Overheard by: Micaela
Clearest Explanation of Scientology To-Date
Girl on cell: It would be like if you made a robot with the sole purpose of killing someone you didn’t like. It wouldn’t be the robot’s fault that it killed the person, it would be your fault, because you built the robot. Unless, of course, somehow the robot had a mind of its own.
–63rd & Lex
Overheard by: Zglass
Sadly, These Two Work for New Line
Woman #1: No, they can’t do a sequel, it’d get boring. Snakes… in the Sauna!
Woman #2: Yeah, it has to be another animal… and a building.
– Bathroom, Regal Cinemas, Union Square
Overheard by: Elmo
The Monkeys in the Experiment Choose the Coke
Hipster girl #1: I better watch out — after the weight I lost, my mom is thinking I’m anorexic or something. I should start eating more.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, or lay off the coke.
Hipster girl #1: Or that.
–Times Square
Bend Over, Jetson
Suit #1: I like this trend… Taking your favorite childhood cartoon character and slutting it up.
Suit #2: Yup.
–W 34 St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: not
Like the Shreds of My Daughter’s Privacy?
40-something preggers: So my mother insisted on coming into the room when I had my last pelvic exam.
Other patient: Seriously?
40-something preggers: What’s worse is that she was standing near the doctor while he was doing the exam. She was watching.
Other patient: What? No way!
40-something preggers: Then she said to the doctor, ‘Can I hold something for you?’
–Gynecologist’s office, Manhattan
