Hobo #1: Who’s gonna win? Who’s gonna win?
Hobo #2: I’ll tell you who’s gonna win. The Seattle Steelers.
–125th & Lexington
Overheard by: Mel
Archive for 2006
I’ll Never Figure This Sudoku Out
Teen boy #1: Don’t worry, I’ve been taking the 7 train since I was 5.
Teen boy #2: How old are you now?
Teen boy #1: 17.
Teen boy #2: So you’ve been taking the 7 train from…8 years ago?
Teen boy #1: Naw, man. 8 yrs ago I was 10.
–7 train
Overheard by: Jenn Hue
That’s Kind of a Rhetorical Question
Guy #1: Hey. Do you want some blow?
Guy #2: Um, excuse me, but that’s my dad.
Guy #1: Oh. Sorry…Whatever. I meant blowjob.
–Spirit, West 27th Street
Overheard by: e jack
Send Your Ideas to Massengill
Girl #1: Holy shit! That guy just threw a slushie at the conductor.
Girl #2: That’s like a felony, right?
Girl #1: Yeah, they should arrest that guy.
Girl #2: I can think of so many better things to do with a slushie.
–5 train
“…So I don’t need a #2 pencil?”
Store girl: “Fraternity test”?
Store guy: I’ve been saying it that way all these years.
–K-mart, East 8th Street
No Steps, Either
Guy: Hey, have you ever been to Alcoholics Anonymous?
Girl: No, I’ve never been to a triple-A meeting.
Guy: No dumbass, it’s AA for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Girl: Oh, yeah? Well what does AAA stand for?
Guy: Association…of…American…no, wait…Automobiles? Fuck, I don’t know. It’s for cars, stupid.
–E train
Overheard by: Dan & John
A guy walking down the steps slips but manages to catch himself.
Guy #2: Nice recovery.
Guy #1: Easier than rehab!
–22nd & 9th
Overheard by: Ari Fleischer
Go There and See
Dad: Do you guys want Turkish food for dinner?
Teen girl: Yeah, I’m down.
Dad: …Is that good…or bad?
–83rd & Columbus
Overheard by: Sydney
Sadly, She’s iLiterate
Teen boy: Didn’t you know those iPod headphones are bad for you?
Teen girl: No, they’re not.
Teen boy: Uh huh. Look in your manual. It says to throw them away as soon as you buy them.
–F train
Overheard by: sarah kauffman
The Cancer Has Claimed His Funny Bone
Guy hacks up a lung.
Girl: Are you a heavy smoker?
Guy: What do you mean by “heavy”?
Girl: Is smoking the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Guy: No, first, I cough. Then, I smoke.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: chrissy
There’s an SAT Question Here Somewhere
Dude: Wait, who’s Pete?
Chick: Pete’s the guy who’s sleeping with John’s girlfriend.
Dude: Oh, right.
–Office, 48th & 6th
Overheard by: this guy
Guy #1: You mean the roommate who sleeps naked on the top bunk?
Guy #2: No, that’s Bobby. I’m talking about Steve. He’s the one who farts all the time.
Guy #1: My bad.
–81st & Broadway
Overheard by: Dr. X