Archive for 2006

Enthusiasm: Curbed

Drunk #1: Yo, did you see who was just peeing next to me? Larry David! I think Larry David just sprinkled pee on my shoes!
Drunk #2: So now you’re not gonna clean your shoes ’cause they got celebrity piss on them? Why don’t you sell them on eBay?
Drunk #3: That wasn’t Larry David.
Drunk #1: Yo, then I should kick that guy’s ass for peeing on my shoes!

–Restroom, Cheap Trick concert, Beacon Theatre

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

No, I’ve Got My Tinfoil Hat On

Bimbette #1: Have you ever noticed that lemon-lime soda tastes like urine after a few minutes of not drinking it?
Bimbette #2: Nope.
Bimbette #1: Well, it does. That’s why you have to keep drinking it — so it doesn’t taste bad. Then you get addicted to it and you buy more. It’s a clever marketing scheme.
Bimbette #2: Has the government been probing your brain lately?

–Grand Central