Archive for 2006

I Hope Lois Had a Cesarean

Tourist teen girl: I hope we see one of the Olsen twins.
Tourist mom: Oh, they were so cute on that show.
Man: Those kids were disgusting. They weren’t cute. They were hideous. They should have put bags over their heads. You know who is a cute baby? Stewie Griffin. You know, from The Family Guy? He wants to kill his mother and take over the world.
Tourist mom: Okay, thanks!

–W Train

Overheard by: Ubiquitous Attorney

Can Someone Translate Into Brooklyn?

Teen girl: I would like to. Notwithstanding, I–
Old lady: Never say “notwithstanding” in New York. Too long a word for here.
Teen girl: Why the heck…?
Old lady: Notwithstanding and two financial empires have already
collapsed! Where are you from, by the way?
Teen girl: Missoula, Montana.
Old lady: You’re making my point, darling!…So, Redford says “notwithstanding”? No kidding?
Teen girl: Robert lives in Utah.

–Trump Tower elevator, 56th & 5th

Overheard by: Bertrand Latour