Archive for April, 2007

How It Sounds Is Not the Prob­lem

Thug teen with high voice: I did­n’t say, ‘Scratch the in­side of your but­t­hole.’ I said, ‘Scratch the in­side of your asshole.‘
La­dy friend: What’s the dif­fer­ence?
Thug teen with high voice: ‘But­t­hole’ make it sound nice and al­most in­no­cent. ‘Ass­hole’ make it sound down­right nasty.

–UA movie the­ater, Sheepshead Bay

Over­heard by: The Bling

Gets ’em Din­ner Out Every Time

Male suit: That book you’re read­ing — Any Bitch Can Cook! — that’s fun­ny.
Fe­male suit: You know what ‘bitch’ stands for, right?
Male suit: What?
Fe­male suit: Babe in to­tal con­trol of her­self.
Guy at next ta­ble: I dun­no. I know some bitch­es who are to­tal­ly out of con­trol.

–Chi­nese restau­rant, Mon­tague St, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

He Calls Them “Films”

10-year-old girl #1 re­fer­ring to Starter for Ten: Oh my god, that movie was re­al­ly sexy.
10-year-old girl #2: I know! We are lucky it was­n’t X‑rated!
10-year-old girl #1: You know, my mom has seen an X‑rated movie be­fore, and my dad has one.
10-year-old girl #2: Why does your dad have an X‑rated video?
10-year-old girl #1: He’s just re­al­ly in­to movies!

–Movie the­ater re­stroom, 11th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Dara