Chick #1: Thanks, bitch.
Chick #2: I’m obsessed with you!
Chick #1: A restraining order couldn’t stop my love.
–Canal St, Chinatown
Overheard by: i’m scared
Archive for June, 2007
And, Like, What Kind of School Involves Factory Labor?
Latina #1 pushing stroller: Mira! Today was the first day of David’s school!
Latina #2: Damn! It start so quickly already?
Latina #1: Yeah, I went to drop David and met with the principal. He seemed a bit shady.
Latina #2: Shady? Like how?
Latina #1: I dunno. He was going on about how he treat everybody in school like his own children. I was like, ‘Hold up! What family has so many kids, anyway?’
–9th & 4th
“Soulmate” Conversations Are Graded on a Sliding Scale
Lady: Oh, man, I hate it when it rains, because there’s water and you get wet.
Male companion: Yes, I know exactly what you mean.
–6 train, 86th & Lex
Overheard by: Beth
Well, I Guess I Have Time for a Short One
Comedy promoter: Come on! Great show — you know you want to come!
Tourist girl: No, thanks, I’m good. C
Comedy promoter: Come on! We have midget strippers!
–Times Square
Why Lecture Halls Have Ejector Seats
Angry theology teacher: God created Adam and Eve–
Chick, cutting her off: –Who created God?
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Gotta Love Those Kennedys
Girl #1: Anyhow, I kept telling him no, but he did. Then this morning I realized that I was raped.
Girl #2: Oh my god…
Girl #1: Yeah, but it was the best sex I ever had. But I didn’t want it.
–B train
We’ll Change It Once White People Start Saying It
Kid: Mom, where you at?
Mom: I’m right here, baby, and it’s not where you at, it’s where you is.
–Crowded store
Overheard by: spamandvikings
How Ignorant Would I Have to Become to Get That Rich?
Woman: He’s very successful. I’m sure he’s a millionaire by now, and he’s only 26. He never even graduated from college.
Queer: I’m soooooo jealous. I wish I didn’t have an education.
–Mott & Houston
Do You Still Have That Special on Tampons?
Suit: Do you have any headache medication?
Production assistant pulling random stuff out of pockets: Yeah, sure. Do you have a headache?
Suit: No, but I might later… Oooh! Band-Aids!
–Universal Studios kitchen
Overheard by: Gunther
In Other Words, Everyone in the Back Seat
30-ish investment banker on cell: She had so much makeup on her face she looked like she had just blown 20 clowns.
–44th & Park