Archive for December, 2007

She Has Slut-dar

Mid­dle-aged man with suit­cas­es: So, where’s the air­port, hon­ey?
Russ­ian chick: Oh my god. Oh my god.
Mid­dle-aged wife: What? Newark Air­port?
Russ­ian chick: This is­n’t the air­port, slut!

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

That’s Code for, “I’m Lost, Too”

Man: Ex­cuse me, could you tell me where–
Biotech, in­ter­rupt­ing: –Look, I don’t have time to make up fake di­rec­tions.

–W Broad­way

Head­line by: Trey Jack­son

Run­ners-Up:
· “And This Rude­ness Is Two Sec­onds Of My Life I’ll Nev­er Get Back” — Markle
· “And, Be­ing a New York­er, I Cer­tain­ly Won’t Give You Re­al Ones” — Yana
· “Mapquest’s Em­ploy­ee Of the Month” — Claire
· “Or The Knowl­edge for Re­al Ones” — DIck
· “So Take a Left Over There” — emi­ly bess
· “Take a Cab. Be Sure You Tell the Dri­ver You’re from Out Of Town.” — jnr

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Not on a Full Stom­ach

Law gal #1: This is more point­less than giv­ing a butt-ug­ly girl a nice hair­cut.
Law gal #2: Hey, a nice hair­cut helps.
Law gal #1: Have you looked at me late­ly?

–NYU Law Court­yard

Col­lege — High School = One Minute

Guy #1: Hey, where you go­ing?
Guy #2: It’s about 3:15 — I got­ta go to class.
Guy #1: This is col­lege, not high school. You don’t have to be on time to class.
Guy #3: So, what are we gonna do?
Guy #1: It’s 3:16! I’m late for class!

–CUNY City Tech

Over­heard by: Ben­ny