Girl #1: Who is he, again?
Girl #2, screaming: John Norris! He’s old, gap in his teeth, MTV News guy… [Turns and sees he’s been standing right next to her.] Oh! Well, hello there!
–New York Sports Club
Overheard by: anonny
Archive for 2007
I Wonder How the Kid Is with Biology, and the French He Took?
Boy looking at action figures in window: Which of these do you like best?
Girl: I’m not sure… Definitely not George Bush.
Boy, pointing to Albert Einstein: I don’t like him. He invented the atomic bomb and killed loads of people.
–Times Square
And Our Immortal Souls, As Well?
Professor: What have I told you about fairness?
Student: That we should forget about it.
Professor: Yes!
–NYU Law School
What Happens When You Walk Too Close to NYU
Guy #1: You’re killing me vicariously.
Guy #2: Did you just say ‘bi-curiously’?
Guy #1: Wow.
–14th & Broadway
How the Annoying Recognize Each Other During Mating Season
Nasal woman on cell: Heyyy, what you doooin’?
Stoner guy passerby, imitating her voice: Smokin’ weeeed.
–74th & CPW
Moldova? EU!
Geek #1: I can’t believe Romania just got accepted into the European Union!
Geek #2: What do you know? Next thing they’ll even take Moldova.
–50th & Broadway
It’s Hiding in Midtown
Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to downtown?
Local: Downtown where?
Tourist: Times Square.
–N/Q uptown platform, Canal St
Their Names Are “Delirium” and “Tremens”
Girl: What’s the deal with New York’s bagels, anyway? I mean, they’re delicious! What do you think New Yorkers do differently to their bagels that makes them so… Oh, look at you! You’re too drunk to keep up with me because I’m speaking so rapidly.
Drunk guy: I’m listening to your rabbits!
–NYU
Overheard by: Evan Regas
Why Shirley Temple Movies Are Not Intended for Minors
Black mom: You chokin’?
Son: [Choking.]Black mom: Hmmm?
Son: [Choking, grasping at throat.]Black mom, hitting him hard on the back, causing him to cough something up: There. Now quit jumpin’ and movin’ when you eatin’ a lollipop.
–13th & University
Overheard by: Mathew
And He Was a Big Hit
Guy picks himself and his bike up off the street while other people approach…
Latino kid: Damn, son! Did you see that?! Motherfucker just got hit!
White guy: Hit him, too, or just the bike?
Latino kid: Man, that car hit the shit outta that guy! [Answers cell phone] Yo, get down here, son. Some dude just got hit!
–17th & Prospect, Park Slope
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
