Archive for 2007

I Guess That’s True, Too

20-something guy #1: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
20-something guy #2: Please. If you had been to prison I don’t think that you would have been the one doing the fucking.
20-something guy #1: I guess that’s true.
20-something chick: Fucking morons.

–Delancey & Orchard

Overheard by: Bang-Around Bob

I’m Not Even Black, Am I?

Hobo: Hey, doggie. Come here, doggie. Hey, hey, doggie. Come over here.
Woman, pulling dog away on leash: Come, Mikey! Come on!
Hobo, to passerby: You see that? Fuckin’ racist don’t want me touchin’ her dog ’cause I’m fuckin’ black!
Teen passerby: No, sir, it’s because you are homeless.
Hobo: Oh. Well, yeah. There’s that.

–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Mike N

Gotta Go with Your Strengths

Little boy who picked Disney princess goody-bag instead of Superman: Look what I got, Daddy!
Father, to party helper: He also always chooses tiaras over crowns.
Little boy, proudly: That’s because I’m more into girl stuff than boy stuff!

–Deb’s Family Disco, Lexington Ave

Overheard by: Dancing Mermaid

I Don’t Usually Meet the Hookup Threshold Test

Law student: Dude, when I started school I was like,’ This shit’s gonna suck for my social life,’ but it turns out there are tons of cute girls in law school and they love to get drunk.
Non-law student: Really? So you’ve hooked up with a lot of girls at school?
Law student: Just one, actually, but it was only because I needed her notes.

–Metro North to White Plains

No Request Is Too Extreme

Girl #1: Thanks, I like being wished on. Well, not wished on, but wished for.
Girl #2: I was wished on in Mexico…
Girl #1, after long pause: Was it the same guy that gave you herpes?

–N train

Overheard by: i thought it was funny.…

All Hail the Hypnobarista

40-something: Okay, lemme get two grande black coffees.
Barista: $4.10.
40-something: You know what? Make those ventis.
Barista: $4.44.
40-something: Okay, don’t kill me, but could I get one grande and one venti?
Barista: No.
40-something: What?
Barista: No.
40-something: You know, two ventis is perfect.

–Starbucks, Union Square