Archive for 2007

Maybe You Should Find Out What That Means, First

Female suit #1: So, last night I was on this website…
Female suit #2, eagerly: Was it MySpace?
Female suit #1: No, it was Smatchy.
Female suit #2, disappointed: Oh…
Female suit #1: What’s wrong?
Female suit #2: I’ve been taking these clairvoyance classes, but I don’t think they’re working.

–L train

I’m Just Not Riding One

Woman #1: So, he takes me to see Eragon, and then he walks me to my door and he’s like, ‘Can I come up?’ And I’m all like, ‘No way,’ and he’s like, ‘Why not?’ And I’m like, ’ ‘Cause you had sex with my sister, you asshole!’ Can you believe that?!
Woman #2: Why did you even go out with him?
Woman #1: I like dragons.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: i like dragons too

Why Kids Thrive in Day Care, Explained

Disgruntled mom #1: I told you kids to behave! I’m going to tell your father about this! No treats for you today, no treats! [To Disgruntled mom #2] They never listen to me.
Disgruntled mom #2: So, have you decided whether you’re going to go back to work instead of your husband?
Disgruntled mom #1, as one child shakes salt onto tables and licks it off: Well, we’ve talked about it. The problem is, I just don’t think my kids would get the same kind of attention and care.

–McDonald’s, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: paying more attention to her kids than she is