Archive for 2007

Your Truck’s More Like a Pair of Sears Tuffskins

Fruity metro guy: My truck makes this crazy noise whenever I brake.
Mechanic: What’s the make of your truck, son?
Fruity metro guy: White.
Mechanic: No, son, the make.
Fruity metro guy: Truck.
Mechanic: The make, son, the make.
Fruity metro guy: 1997. There, I’ve just told you everything I know about my truck.
Mechanic: Who made your truck? Ford? Nissan?
Fruity metro guy: Oh, you mean the brand. It’s Ford.
Mechanic: A truck ain’t a pair of jeans, son.

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: JoshOnTheBus

Fuck the Contest. I’m Joining That Gym!

Workout girl #1: It feels so sticky when I put it on my lips.
Workout girl #2: That’s why you don’t stick your fingers all the way inside it.

–Synergy Gym, Astoria

Overheard by: Wog

Headline by: Rocks N Socks

· “How to Eat a Bowl Of Ice Cream Without a Spoon” — Karl
· “Life Without a Toilet Plunger…” — Jackster
· “Oh Cum On!” — Mike
· “The Rim Is All You Need…” — Steph
· “Winnie The Pooh Had The Same Problem With His Honeypot” — Sticky Thump

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