Archive for 2007

Which Was Exactly Why I Came Here

Suit #1: So, I was at lunch, and I went to Subway to get a sandwich…
Suit #2: Uh-huh…
Suit #1: And I ran into this other guy from work as I was walking out, and he says, ‘Oh my god, I had no idea you were the kind of guy who would eat at Subway!’

–The North East Kingdom, Bushwick, Brooklyn

I Felt the Same Way about Sushi in El Paso

Southern tourist chick: I thought this city was supposed to be diverse. I haven’t seen the first Mexican or Mexican restaurant yet.
Southern tourist guy: I think it’s a different kind of diverse up here, honey.
Southern tourist chick: Well, all I know is that I want Mexican and there ain’t no place to get it.

–59th & 5th

Overheard by: Jonathan

We’re Holding Your Diploma

Hunter student #1: So, are you a senior this year?
Hunter student #2: Is senior when your supposed to graduate?
Hunter student #1: Yes.
Hunter student #2: Okay, then yeah, I’m a senior.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Thomas

Clearly You’ve Never Seen a Cow Do a Beer-Bong

Drunk chick: Oh my god! Is AOL ‘America online’?
Friend: Ummm, yes.
Drunk chick: Holy crap!
Friend: What did you think it was?
Drunk chick: Who the fuck are you? And why do you want to sell me something, you dirty sloot?
Friend: I’m your friend, and you’re drunk.
Drunk chick: I am as sober as a cow.
Friend: What the hell?
Drunk chick: What does AOL stand for?

–Grand Central

Overheard by: noelle

I Told You — No Ad Libbing

Mother: Hey! You come here right now! I can’t afford to have you running all over this place.
Little boy: Let go of me! Let go of my hand! If you don’t, I will hate you forever and disown you.
Mother: Hey, hey! That’s my job.

–JFK airport

Overheard by: innocent passerby