Archive for 2007

And What Part Will the Helmet Play in That?

Nerdy hipster to friends: You want nerdy? You know what I did today? I worked on this robot helmet I’m making on my floor. Yep, a robot helmet complete with LED lights — for my girlfriend. See? That’s love right there.
Girlfriend, explaining: I told him we could have butt sex.
Nerdy hipster, emphatically: But not until I finish the helmet!

–L train

Wow, That Jumped Ugly Pretty Quick

Creepster: Have you ever had a tampon stuck inside of you?
Chick: Well, once when I was drunk I had my period and stuck another one up.
Creepster: So, did it get stuck?
Chick: No… But I’m not a fucking gaping hole, if that’s what you think.


Overheard by: Alex Berger

We’re Like the End of Casablanca without the Implied Gay Sex

Guy: I always run into you here! It’s like our little date time.
Chick: We’re not dating… but sure.
Guy: I know. I was trying to be cute, dammit!
Chick, laughing: I know… And you do a good job of it, but I still hate you.
Guy: I know, but it’s the kind of hate that can make this friendship work. [Long pause, then] God, that’s really fucked up.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jesus Jon


Middle Eastern-looking yuppie: I would root for Al Qaeda before the Red Sox. [Middle Eastern-looking friends quietly express outrage.] Fine, I would root for the Janjaweed before the Red Sox. Is that better?

–Manhattan-bound 4 train leaving Yankee Stadium station

Overheard by: David H