Archive for 2007

Call Me Ish­mael

Girl #1: Every time we go out she’s all like, ‘I need a boyfriend sooo bad!’ And all she does is bitch about how she does­n’t have a boyfriend. Well, it’s like, ‘Of course you don’t have a boyfriend — maybe if your blub­ber did­n’t hang down over your jeans some guy would want you.’ No guy wants to mount a beached whale… Well, un­less they’re in­to that kind of thing…
Girl #2: I know the per­fect guy.
Girl #1: I bet he’s re­al hot.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

He Al­most Has to Be a Dick to Com­pen­sate

Girl #1: He was, like, a to­tal dick, you know? But it’s like, he’s al­lowed to be, you know?
Girl #2: Well, yeah. He’s a straight NYU guy who plays soc­cer.
Girl #1: Yeah. So he could get away with it.

–Can­tor Film Cen­ter, NYU

Over­heard by: not an nyu straight guy