Archive for 2007

The Boss Says, “No One Says ‘Motherfucker’ in Front of Me,” and Gary’s Out on His Ass

Hipster #1: I’ll ask Gary.
Hipster #2: Gary got fired. He was robbed at gunpoint when he went to buy drugs.
Hipster #1: And he got fired for that? How did his boss know?
Hipster #2: Well, people talk, you know, so the boss called Gary in and asked him straight out if he got robbed while buying drugs.
Hipster #1: And Gary admitted it?
Hipster #2: Nah, he said, ‘I wasn’t robbed, I kicked that motherfucker’s ass.’

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo

Where’s Mr. T When You Need Him?

Eight-year old posse leader to clerk: Nah, don’t look at me, man. Yo, I’m serious. Fuck you. I’ll shoot you. I’ll shoot you right now. I’ll shoot you in the face. You don’t beleeb me? I got a BB gun right now in my pocket. I’ll shoot you in the face, man. You know what? It’ll hurt. It’ll hurt, too, man. I’ll shoot you in your face. Right now. Yeah. [Takes big swig of Sprite.] Yeah. I’ll shoot you… In the face, yo. [Leaves with posse, flipping off clerk.]Customer: Wow.
Clerk: Yeah, they’re our future.

–Convenience store, 122nd & Lex

Overheard by: I just wanted some 40’s…

Makes Me Question My Masculinity

Cop #1: Whoopie, whoopie, whoopie…
Cop #2: What are you talking about?
Cop #1: You know — [twirls finger].
Cop #2: No, what the hell are you talking about?
Cop #1: I hear she’s a real wild fuck!
Cop #2: Yeah, I just never saw myself working for a woman.

–24-hour diner, 52nd & 8th