Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.
–Elevator, Time Warner Center
Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.
–Elevator, Time Warner Center
Woman furiously swinging her purse at tourist seated next to her: What?! You were sitting on my hand the entire way! You deserve this!
Tourist: Uh, thank you.
–6 train
Overheard by: naners
Man: Do you know what station this is going to?
Passenger #1: Crazy town!
Passenger #2: [Nods.]Man: [Backs away slowly.]
–Port Washington train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Matt
Teacher: Why shouldn’t they ban the N‑word in New York City?
Black kid: Because it’s my favorite word!
–Wings Academy, Bronx
Drunk guy on cell: Yeah, man, all this stuff happened… It was fucked up.
Blonde: Could you please keep it down a little?
Drunk guy on cell: Man, this blonde bitch in front of me wants me to shut up. Dumb bitch. [hangs up and addresses blonde] Sorry about that. So, where are you going tonight?
–LIRR, between Penn & Jamaica
Service person #1: Ha! They all think we’re gonna shoot them.
Service person #2: No, we won’t shoot you, but I will shoot that woman in the fur coat over there.
–Marine Air terminal, LaGuardia
Overheard by: Pick-Qwick
Little nephew: The kids who celebrate Kwanzaa at my school said that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.
Drunk uncle: You should tell them that the myth of a college education and a prosperous life that they belief in are an even bigger lie!
–Penthouse, Park Ave
Boyfriend about loud passing motorcycle: You know, guys who clean their pipes like that have small genitalia.
Girlfriend: Well… I’m not so sure about that.
–18th & Park
Overheard by: Bob who likes to walk
Mid-30s male: I thought that we would see more chicks in this place…
Mid-50s male: Yeah! I mean, this is, like, a total sausage-fest in here.
Mid-30s male: Look at that slut over there. You could see her fucking nipples from a mile away.
Mid-50s male: I can’t see shit. Where’s my fucking glasses when I need them?
–MoMA
Overheard by: Wow! Where are the women
Tall brunette: No — ovulating! There’s a difference between menstruating and ovulating.
Short brunette: I still don’t get it.
–Olive Garden
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist