Archive for 2007

How about If I Smoke It and Don’t Go?

Hipster #1: Shit, I forgot the wine.
Hipster #2: You’re such an idiot. Where is it?
Hipster #1: I don’t know, in some store somewhere. But it’s okay, because I have a joint.
Hipster #2: You can’t bring a joint if she invited us for dinner. It’s not a ‘thank you’ if you’re just gonna smoke it.

–Brooklyn-bound F train

Overheard by: Yiriam Madison

Even If She Lives

20-something girl: You know, it’s just not in Donna… It’s just not in her hema-… hema-… What’s it called? It’s just not in her hematoma to be cool.
Friend: Totally! I know! No matter how she cuts her hair at any age she’ll just never look good.

–86th & 3rd

Overheard by: Abby

To Treat My Misanthropy

Chick: Okay, here is my job application. Under ‘Goals’ I have, ‘Get my people skills to a comfortable level.’ For ‘Steps to Achieve These Goals’ I have, ‘Right now I am passive-aggressive, but I am working to become more aggressive.’
Dude: Ummm, I think you should take out the first ‘aggressive.’ Anyway, you aren’t passive-aggressive, you are bipolar.
Chick: I am not! I just hate everyone!
Dude: Then why do you take the crazy pills?

–A train, near Canal St

Oh, and the Kid

20-ish girl: Oh my god, your backpack has your initials on it!
20-ish dude: What? It’s from high school…
20-ish girl: Jesus. The only thing I have from high school is herpes.

–41st & Broadway

Overheard by: june

Safest Thing, Really

Barbershop music segues from the Godfather theme to an old-time jazz tune.

Old Italian barber #1: That’s nice music.
Old Italian barber #2: Yeah, we only play dead guys in here.

–Park Slope Barber Shop

Overheard by: Russ Wall