Archive for 2007

Ah, the Uni­ver­si­ty of Life

Lit­tle boy: I know three things about aliens. One, they don’t have hair. Two, they don’t have mouths. Three, they don’t have pri­vates.
20-some­thing: Then how do you know if it’s a boy or a girl alien?
Lit­tle boy: Um, they’re not boys or girls. They’re its… Or she-males.
20-some­thing: Where did you learn ‘she-males’ from?!
Lit­tle boy: Third Av­enue.

–N train

Now Take Your Acid and Let’s Go

Col­lege guy #1: Okay, we need to go to the gro­cery store.
Col­lege guy #2: But that’s so bor­ing! How am I go­ing to up­date my Face­book sta­tus? Drew* is shop­ping for gro­ceries? That is so lame!
Col­lege guy #1: Dude, you re­al­ly can’t live your life based on an imag­ined Face­book pro­file sta­tus. It’s just not healthy.

–116th & Broad­way