Archive for 2007

He Calls Them “Films”

10-year-old girl #1 re­fer­ring to Starter for Ten: Oh my god, that movie was re­al­ly sexy.
10-year-old girl #2: I know! We are lucky it was­n’t X‑rated!
10-year-old girl #1: You know, my mom has seen an X‑rated movie be­fore, and my dad has one.
10-year-old girl #2: Why does your dad have an X‑rated video?
10-year-old girl #1: He’s just re­al­ly in­to movies!

–Movie the­ater re­stroom, 11th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Dara

Alex Tre­bek Does­n’t Suf­fer Fools Glad­ly

Blonde: So, where is she from?
Friend: Croa­t­ia.
Blonde: Where’s that?
Friend: It’s, like, by Italy.
Blonde: Ohhh, like Czecho­slo­va­kia.
Friend: No, Croa­t­ia. Near Bosnia and Ser­bia.
Blonde: Oh, so it’s like Rus­sia.
Thug: Croa­t­ia, bitch! For­mer Yu­goslavia! Re­mem­ber, they had a civ­il war and broke up in­to five coun­tries?
Blonde: [Stares blankly.]Thug: Je­sus Christ, study a fuckin’ map. Even Tara Reid knows where it is.

–6 train

It’s about Footwear? Why Was­n’t I In­formed?

Guy #1, about babe passer­by: Oooh, hey girl. Ex­cuse me, miss? Miss! [Girl turns around.] Hel­lo. How are you to­day? [Girl leaves.] Man, not even a hel­lo! What the hell is wrong with women to­day?
Guy #2: I can’t be­lieve you thought she’d ac­tu­al­ly talk to you.
Guy #1: Why? I’m good look­ing.
Guy #2: Dude, you’re wear­ing Tevas. Shut the fuck up.

–69th & Colum­bus

So Many Peo­ple Have Cir­cus PTSD

Hip­ster girl point­ing to old guy with bal­loons: Those are the kind of bal­loons that I’m not afraid of.
Hip­ster guy: What, My­lar ones?
Hip­ster girl: Yeah. I’m just afraid of reg­u­lar bal­loons, but not wa­ter bal­loons, so I guess I’m just afraid of the air.

–F train

Over­heard by: tip, tip­per, tippest