Archive for 2007

Well We Used It As a Bar

Bald­ing Rangers fan #1: The on­ly piece of fur­ni­ture left in the house was a stuffed pen­guin.
Bald­ing Rangers fan #2: A stuffed pen­guin is not a piece of fur­ni­ture.

–Metro-North, New Haven Line

Over­heard by: M Tod

Harold and Ku­mar Go to Du­ane Reade

Woman knock­ing over hub­by’s fold­ing ta­ble: That’s the sec­ond time you dis­re­spect­ed me to­day! I am your wife! You won’t even buy me a tam­pon — I’m bleed­ing on a nap­kin. You on­ly spend your mon­ey on hook­ers.
Friend near­by: I knew that was gonna hap­pen!

–Times Square

I’m Much Bet­ter Now, Though

Dirty Casano­va: Yeah, but I al­ways have fun over at First Ave. The oth­er day I saw this crack­head run­ning around naked in front of the club.
Cute girl: He must’ve been freez­ing.
Dirty Casano­va: Yeah, I know what that’s like… Not run­ning naked in the cold, but be­ing ad­dict­ed to crack.

–G train, Met­ro­pol­i­tan stop

Over­heard by: Ja­son Ham­lin