Archive for 2007

If You Think This Is Funny, You Are a Bad Person

Man #1: Hey, man, how’s your mom doing? I hear she’s kinda sick.
Man #2: Yeah, she’s not doing so well. She lost her second leg.
Man #1: What? She lost another one?
Man #2: Yeah, son. She called me the other day because she couldn’t find it. I went to her house and looked everywhere for it, but nothing, son… Nothing. It’s fucked up, you know what I’m saying?
Man #1: Yeah, son. That’s some fucked up shit. Damn, son.

–Atlantic & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: MS

The East Isn’t Mysterious, We’re Just Stupid

Chick #1: You know how they say Chinese people are yellow? Like, yellow-skinned?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Then how come they always look so pale? Like, that girl from House of Flying Daggers is totally pale.
Chick #2: But she’s in a house of, like, flying daggers. I’d be pale.

–6 train

Mine Was in Death of a Salesman — What about You?

Queer #1: In seventh grade I was the unicorn in the school play.
Queer #2: Oh my god! You were the unicorn? What play? I was the unicorn! Oh my god!
Queer #3: No fucking way! I was the motherfucking unicorn, too! This is fucking crazy!
Queer #1: I know! I can’t believe we were all fucking unicorns!

–Hollywood Diner, 16th & 6th

If in Fact She Had One

Dude: So, I saw this girl yesterday who had the most beautiful nose…
Chick: Really?
Dude: Yeah, I’ve had dreams about this same nose since 1986. I never thought it would happen, but I’m so glad it did.
Chick: Wow. What did she look like?
Dude: I don’t know. I didn’t get a good look at her face.

–G train, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Via