Archive for 2007

Rats: Gra­nola? Get That Shit Out­ta Here!

Mom un­wrap­ping gra­nola bar for child: Now, eat this over my purse. I don’t want you get­ting crumbs every­where.
Four-year-old: Why?
Mom: Rats like crumbs, and we do not want to con­tribute to the rat prob­lem.
Four-year-old: Rats? I want to see the rats!
Mom: No! We won’t be a part of the prob­lem.
Four-year-old: Where are the rats?!

–1 train

Over­heard by: tur­tle

Mom Has a Par­al­lel Ar­gu­ment for Vir­gin­i­ty

Tourist teen with new Ug­gs: Ma, can I wear these out of the store? Please?
Tourist mom: Are you fuck­ing in­sane? Do you want them to be black in this filthy place? I just paid a hun­dred and fifty bucks for those. Take your feet out of them and don’t stick them back in un­til we get back to Michi­gan.

–David Z, 5th Ave

Over­heard by: nicole h.