Archive for 2007

For Them, Off­spring Are Like Brides­maids

Girl: I al­ways get sus­pi­cious when I see hot, thin moms with fat lit­tle daugh­ters, be­cause you know they’re mak­ing them fat so that they don’t turn out hot­ter than them.
Guy: What?
Girl: I’m se­ri­ous, I’ve seen it hap­pen! You know that’s what Christine’s mom did to her.

–E train

Over­heard by: Dness

Hm­mm, It Just Says, “Run Away Scream­ing”

Woman with head­phones: ‘Scu­u­use me!
Bim­bette: What?! I said, ‘Ex­cuse me.‘
Woman with head­phones: Well, I have on head­phones and shades, so ob­vi­ous­ly I did­n’t see or hear you. Ever thought about tap­ping me on the shoul­der, ass­hole?
Bim­bette, open­ing book called, How to Be­come Fear­less: Well, what­ev­er. I’m al­ready sit­ting down.
Woman with head­phones: That book must be­ing do­ing some­thing good for your ego. Hope it has a chap­ter in there on what to do af­ter you get smacked on the train for be­ing fear­less…

–A train

Ac­cord­ing to My Life-Coach

Black guy: You know what I need to do? I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train. I got head three times on the train al­ready.
Girl­friend: Shhh!
Black guy: That’s what I need to do. I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train.

–F train

Over­heard by: Jo­fo