Archive for 2007

They Won’t Know Why It Mat­tered

Teen girl #1: I don’t think peo­ple un­der­stand the grav­i­ty of the sit­u­a­tion. No­body seems ex­cit­ed. We’re in an ac­tu­al Spring­field Kwik-E-Mart!
Teen girl #2: I know. When I tell my grand­kids I went to a Kwik-E-Mart [trails off]…

–7‑Eleven/K­wik-E-Mart near Times Square

When New York­ers Try to Do Jol­ly, It Just Comes Out Scary

Chick: Hey, you’re wear­ing red, white, and blue. So pa­tri­ot­ic!
Dude: Heh, yeah. Go Amer­i­ca.
Bushy black mus­tache guy, ful­ly-clothed in den­im: What’s wrong with Amer­i­ca?! Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho! Mer­ry every­thing! When it’s hot in the el­e­va­tor and the doors open, San­ta says, ‘Get out!’ Oh, this is San­ta’s floor! Ho, ho, ho! Mer­ry every­thing!

–El­e­va­tor, Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Kate