Archive for 2007

As with Or­ga­nized Re­li­gions, All Are Equal­ly Un­palat­able

Pas­sion­ate man: You have to be able to voice your own opin­ion! Stand up for your­self! You’re the CFO of a four bil­lion dol­lar com­pa­ny — you have to be able to make these kinds of de­ci­sions!
La­dy with him, to­tal­ly baf­fled: I was just so over­whelmed — I’ve nev­er seen so many dif­fer­ent kinds of rice pud­ding…!

–Out­side Rice to Rich­es, Spring St

Over­heard by: leah

Trans­la­tion: I Tire of This Top­ic

Gui­do #1: I’m tele­ki­net­ic. So are you. We all are!
Gui­do #2: What are you talk­ing about?
Gui­do #1: Think about it! Look, I’m lift­ing my arm. What’s mov­ing my arm?
Gui­do #2: Ki­net­ic im­puls­es to your mus­cles… Your brain.
Gui­do #1: Ah, but what’s telling my brain to lift my arm?
Gui­do #2: Your moth­er.

–7 train

Over­heard by: Hip­ster #3

I Show Them

Chick #1 on cell: I mean, have you ever shaved your pussy and then a cou­ple of nights lat­er you can’t sleep be­cause it itch­es so bad?
Chick #2: Um, hel­lo, we can all hear you.
Chick #1 to #2: Well, has it ever hap­pened to you?
Chick #2: Well, yeah, but I don’t tell the whole sub­way.

–F train

Over­heard by: You have now