Archive for 2007

That’s Just What You Want, Stan­ley

Ghet­to queer, about passer­by: Damn, girl, you see that skin­ny bitch’s shirt?
Friend: No…
Ghet­to queer: It said, ‘I al­ways get what I want.’ Yeah right, nig­ga. That’s some bull­shit if I ever heard it. If you al­ways got what you want­ed, you would­n’t be dress­ing in ghet­to-ass t‑shirts from the Dol­lar Store and walk­ing around this neigh­bor­hood. You’d be dressin’ all Guc­ci and shit and livin’ on Park Av­enue.

–147th & Broad­way

We’re “Fist­ing,” One Might Say

High school kid #1: Yo, man, give me a pound! Man, don’t leave me hang­ing!
High school kid #2: What? Oh, I’m pound­ing you in my head.
High school kid #1: Yo, nasty!
High school kid #2: I meant with my fist! … To your fist.

–Main St, Flush­ing

Then We Go to a Mu­se­um and I Try to Lose Them

Granny: I’m babysit­ting for my daugh­ter’s kids next Thurs­day.
Friend: What? You just sat for them last Thurs­day!
Granny: No, no, — I could­n’t make it that time.
Friend: But still…
Granny: Well, she has a lot of doc­tors’ ap­point­ments late­ly. Any­way, I just take them out for lunch and give them French fries.

–Star­bucks, 70th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Su­san Vol­chok