Archive for 2007

That’s Just What You Want, Stanley

Ghetto queer, about passerby: Damn, girl, you see that skinny bitch’s shirt?
Friend: No…
Ghetto queer: It said, ‘I always get what I want.’ Yeah right, nigga. That’s some bullshit if I ever heard it. If you always got what you wanted, you wouldn’t be dressing in ghetto-ass t‑shirts from the Dollar Store and walking around this neighborhood. You’d be dressin’ all Gucci and shit and livin’ on Park Avenue.

–147th & Broadway

We’re “Fisting,” One Might Say

High school kid #1: Yo, man, give me a pound! Man, don’t leave me hanging!
High school kid #2: What? Oh, I’m pounding you in my head.
High school kid #1: Yo, nasty!
High school kid #2: I meant with my fist! … To your fist.

–Main St, Flushing

Then We Go to a Museum and I Try to Lose Them

Granny: I’m babysitting for my daughter’s kids next Thursday.
Friend: What? You just sat for them last Thursday!
Granny: No, no, — I couldn’t make it that time.
Friend: But still…
Granny: Well, she has a lot of doctors’ appointments lately. Anyway, I just take them out for lunch and give them French fries.

–Starbucks, 70th & Broadway

Overheard by: Susan Volchok