Archive for 2007

Rhino: Again with the Stereotypes!

Dude #1: Did you fuck Josie yet?
Dude #2: Nah, not even a kiss.
Dude #1: I’ll tell her you have the rhino cock.
Dude #2: But then when she sees it, won’t she be disappointed?
Dude #1: That’s a valid point.

–Shake Shack

Overheard by: larry lohan

Just When You Were Starting to Hate the MTA…

Foreign tourist: Do you know if this train goes to Madison Square Garden?
MTA worker: Madison Square Garden? Whaaat? No… Madison Square Garden is in New York City. You’re in the wrong city, guys. [Foreign tourists look at each other, panicking.] Must have taken the wrong train gettin’ here, huh?
Foreign tourists hesitate, then run to catch up to MTA worker: How do we get back to New York?!

–Whitehall station

Overheard by: dan.j.w.

Why You Never See Toucan Sam Commercials Anymore

Building super #1: You seen that bird we got in the courtyard? That thing got a mad long beak.
Building super #2: It’s probably a woodpecker.
Building super #1: It ain’t no fuckin’ woodpecker! Someone need to call the ASPCA or some shit before that thing bite someone and give ’em bird flu or some shit!

–2 train, 14th St

Overheard by: Chuckell

There’s That New York State of Mind

Roommate #1: Work sucks. I’m so tired. I’m going to go to bed.
Roommate #2: Yeah, you should go to bed. You seem pretty sad, but not as sad as you’re going to be tomorrow morning.
Roommate #1: Yeah. Tomorrow’s going to suck.
Roommate #2: Hey, man, don’t worry. Tomorrow is going to be great! Good things are going to happen.
Roommate #1: Yeah, but not to us.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: Dave