Archive for 2007

Just Look at Con­doleeza Rice

Girl #1: Oh my god, John! You have to join our the­ater com­pa­ny that we’re start­ing.
Girl #2: It’s called ‘Four Bitch­es and a Toke.‘
Girl #3: You’re the toke.
Queer: Wait, wait… I’m the toke? I’m a big­ger bitch than all four of you.
Girl #4: But you don’t have a vagi­na!
Queer: Ohhh, trust me — you do not have to have a vagi­na to be a bitch.

–4th & Ave A

Over­heard by: Todd B

So Joanie’s a Dyke and Hen­ry’s 400 Pounds — That Was Way Too Easy

Woman #1: Oh, my son, Hen­ry, nev­er wears jeans. He thinks they are too itchy.
Woman #2: Well, what does he wear, then?
Woman #1: We can on­ly buy him soft pants.
Woman #2: Oh, well my daugh­ter on­ly wears one-piece bathing suits, but we bought her some biki­nis to­day, and when we got home she said, ‘I’d rather bite off all my toe­nails than wear those.’

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: Chris Storey

That Costs Ex­tra

Girl: Yeah, the room in the apart­ment is on­ly four hun­dred bucks a month.
Guy: No way! No place in the city is on­ly four hun­dred a month. You prob­a­bly have to shit in the bath­tub.

–Bain­bridge & Mal­colm X, Brook­lyn