Woman #1: I told Jeff the best way he could propose to me would be to tie the ring around the neck of a cute puppy…
Woman #2: Housebroken.
Woman #1: Right.
–10th & 6th
Overheard by: Don
Archive for 2007
Now Tell Me, How Were Your Areola Expectations Not Met?
Drunk girl: I don’t know. I think I need new nipples.
Bartender: Well, maybe you should show me. I’m a nipple connoisseur.
–Caroline’s, Broadway
Overheard by: not kidding
College — High School = One Minute
Guy #1: Hey, where you going?
Guy #2: It’s about 3:15 — I gotta go to class.
Guy #1: This is college, not high school. You don’t have to be on time to class.
Guy #3: So, what are we gonna do?
Guy #1: It’s 3:16! I’m late for class!
–CUNY City Tech
Overheard by: Benny
So, Um, Whatever Happened to Matt Lauer?
Girl #1: Who is he, again?
Girl #2, screaming: John Norris! He’s old, gap in his teeth, MTV News guy… [Turns and sees he’s been standing right next to her.] Oh! Well, hello there!
–New York Sports Club
Overheard by: anonny
I Wonder How the Kid Is with Biology, and the French He Took?
Boy looking at action figures in window: Which of these do you like best?
Girl: I’m not sure… Definitely not George Bush.
Boy, pointing to Albert Einstein: I don’t like him. He invented the atomic bomb and killed loads of people.
–Times Square
And Our Immortal Souls, As Well?
Professor: What have I told you about fairness?
Student: That we should forget about it.
Professor: Yes!
–NYU Law School
What Happens When You Walk Too Close to NYU
Guy #1: You’re killing me vicariously.
Guy #2: Did you just say ‘bi-curiously’?
Guy #1: Wow.
–14th & Broadway
How the Annoying Recognize Each Other During Mating Season
Nasal woman on cell: Heyyy, what you doooin’?
Stoner guy passerby, imitating her voice: Smokin’ weeeed.
–74th & CPW
Moldova? EU!
Geek #1: I can’t believe Romania just got accepted into the European Union!
Geek #2: What do you know? Next thing they’ll even take Moldova.
–50th & Broadway
It’s Hiding in Midtown
Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to downtown?
Local: Downtown where?
Tourist: Times Square.
–N/Q uptown platform, Canal St
