Archive for 2007

But Are You Willing to Ignore Months and Months of Reliable Intelligence?

Teen: I’m gonna run for sturgeon general one day.
Father: A sturgeon is a fish. It’s Surgeon General, and you can’t run for it, the president appoints you.
Teen: Then I’ll make him appoint me.
Father: You also have to be a doctor, and in the military… And we know you’re not smart enough to be a doctor.
Teen: [Puzzled, offended.]Father: You could run for Secretary of Defense, though, and you don’t really have to be that smart to do that.
Teen, excitedly: Cool, I like guns!

–A train

Overheard by: Sean

What’s the Bad News?

Tall blonde: Didn’t you say you were getting an ice cream cake? I’m so confused.
Short blonde: There was no time for both, so that’ll have to be another break a little later.
Tall blonde: Ah, okay. I just was worried about it sitting in Accounting, so I went to get it and they had no idea what I was talking about.
Short blonde: Oh, no, no. Plus, I couldn’t carry all three. The good news — Mylar won’t melt.

–25th & Broadway

Overheard by: prciosasoy

That’s How Easy Love Can Be

Guy: I was bored the other day, so I sang the alphabet song while counting on my fingers to make sure there really are 26 letters… There are.
Girl: Dude, you know what you get for that? [Hugs guy.] 

–E train

Overheard by: Peter G

And Feet

Hobo falls asleep on hipster girl and breathes in her face — she gags.

Hipster friend: What’s wrong?
Hipster girl: I just saw hell, and it smells like Taco Bell.

–4 train

Overheard by: I could smell it too