Archive for 2007

Frat Boys Are Born, Not Made

Four-year-old boy to ran­dom woman: Why did the skele­ton go out to din­ner?
Woman: Why?
Four-year-old boy: Be­cause he want­ed to get some ribs! [Boy and broth­er laugh hysterically.]Boys’ mom: Oh, Ben­jamin, you’re so shy.
Four-year-old boy: I’m not shy! I talk a lot be­cause I’m drunk! [Ladies near­by laugh, moth­er blush­es.] … I fart­ed.

–LIRR

Speak­ing of Cheesy Things?

JAP #1: Oh my god, is that how you spell ‘quiche’? I al­ways thought it was spelled K‑E-E-S‑H. That is a re­al­ly weird spelling.
JAP #2: Yeah, that is a to­tal­ly weird spelling.
JAP #1: And I’m usu­al­ly such a good speller!
JAP #2: Yeah, you are to­tal­ly such a good speller! … Have you ever seen Six­teen Can­dles?

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Over­heard by: un­hip­ster

MTA: Se­lect Trains Will Now Fea­ture Re­la­tion­ship Coun­selors

Male con­duc­tor: The next stop will be Christo­pher Street, Sheri­dan Square.
Fe­male con­duc­tor: The next stop will be Hous­ton Street.
Male con­duc­tor: The next stop will be Christo­pher Street, Sheri­dan Square.
Fe­male con­duc­tor: The next stop will be Hous­ton Street.
Male con­duc­tor: The next stop will be Christo­pher Street, Sheri­dan Square.
Fe­male con­duc­tor: The next stop will be Hous­ton Street.

–1 train, 14th St sta­tion

Over­heard by: Next stop was Hous­ton