Archive for March, 2008

Late­ly Je­sus Finds Him­self Ob­ses­sive­ly Play­ing ‘Dead Ris­ing’

Guy #1: The Je­ho­vah Wit­ness­es say the world is end­ing and the good will in­her­it the earth… So then what? The less good peo­ple will be the bad peo­ple, and lit­tle things will seem worse?
Guy #2: I don’t get it, these re­li­gions are in­con­sis­tent. Is Je­sus tak­ing the good peo­ple with him or do the good peo­ple in­her­it the earth? I hope he takes them with him.
Guy #1: I spoke with Je­sus and he does­n’t know what’s go­ing on: he just got the Xbox 360 and said he could care less.
Guy #2: He sounds like a good guy.

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

Over­heard by: Bob­by

The Grate­ful Ones Are Best

Ghet­to man, stick­ing his head in­to the car and yelling to no one in par­tic­u­lar: Are you sin­gle? [No­body replies.] Are you sin­gle?!
Ghet­to girl: Yeah, I’m sin­gle.
[he walks over to her.]
Ghet­to girl: My hus­band left me. Af­ter five years he just left. Said “I love Frank.“
Ghet­to man, an­nounc­ing to the rest of the car: Did you hear that? This wom­an’s hus­band left her for an­oth­er man! [to the woman]: What’s your phone num­ber? [She gives out dig­its]

–F train

Over­heard by: and she won­ders why…