Archive for April, 2008

People Should Be Made to Watch Footage of Their Drunken Selves

Drunk guy #1: Yo, let me get a cheese slice. No… Actually, what is that?
Drunk guy #2: It’s a lasagna slice.
Drunk guy #1: Nah, I need some fuckin meat. Give me a slice with some fuckin meat on it. Oh! You got any slices with alcohol? Give me a slice with alcohol on it. Give me some alcohol!

–Moon Pie Pizza, 4th St & Avenue C

Overheard by: soyloaf

Wait, Hamburgers, That’s How!

Stuy Girl: So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Stuy Guy: Well, I really want to just own some cows in Spain.
Stuy girl: Um, and do what with them?
Stuy Guy: Uh, milk them…I guess.
Stuy Girl: That’s not very realistic.
Stuy Guy: Yeah, I was thinking more in terms of like, if I didn’t have to survive…

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: jules

He Was Surprisingly Affectionate

Hipster guy: Yo! My girlfriend gave me a hickey, and now there’s a rumor that I got into a fight with a black kid.
Friend: Dude!

–Edward Murrow High School

Headline by: Justin

Runners-Up:
· “Oh Please! If That Were True You’d Have a Stab-wound, Not a Hickey.” — nosey nafia
· “Shouldn’t Have Let Her Hickey Your Eye, I Guess.” — Internev
· “That’s Funny, I’d Heard Something About a Vacuum Cleaner” — Marv in DC
· “Well, She Does Look Like Gary Coleman.” — stevevc

Click here to see the new Headline Contest