Archive for September, 2008

We Imag­ine a Young Kather­ine Hep­burn in This Role

Hot chick: You are nev­er gonna get a job talk­ing like that.
Thug: Yeah, you know, I can turn dis shit off and talk all pro­fes­sion­al and shit if I have to. (in pro­fes­sion­al voice): I can speak in a man­ner which is be­com­ing to a young pro­fes­sion­al and present my­self as an up­stand­ing mem­ber of so­ci­ety (now back to thug speak) nawm­sayin’?
Hot chick (sar­cas­ti­cal­ly, enun­ci­at­ing each word): Yes. I know what you are say­ing.

–6 Train

Over­heard by: Joey Cards

Is It Even Le­gal to Turn Down Cather­ine Ze­ta Jones?

Large, out-of-breath woman climb­ing stairs #1: (gasp) All I know is (gasp) that I would fuck the shit out of her.
Large, out-of-breath woman climb­ing stairs #2: (si­lence)
Large, out-of-breath woman climb­ing stairs #1: Are you hon­est­ly say­ing (gasp) you would­n’t fuck the shit out of her?
Large, out-of-breath woman climb­ing stairs #2: If she was a man…
Large, out-of-breath woman climb­ing stairs #1: Fuck that shit! (gasp) I’m not hear­ing that.

–Sub­way Stop, 168th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: I Would 2

Does She Still Live in a Van Down by the East Riv­er?

Blonde girl: I mean this in the nicest way pos­si­ble, but she looks ex­act­ly like Chris Far­ley.
Brunette girl: Oh my gosh, you’re so right! I can’t be­lieve I nev­er no­ticed be­fore!
Blonde girl: I know! But I to­tal­ly mean it as a com­pli­ment.

–Nobu Restau­rant, W 57th

Over­heard by: sromeo

Am I the On­ly One Who Has Trou­ble Get­ting Off?

Con­duc­tor (af­ter doors close at Rec­tor St): If you are in the last five cars you will not be get­ting off at South Fer­ry. (train starts to move) Do not pass go, do not col­lect $200. Shoul­da lis­tened to di­rec­tions.
Pas­sen­ger: Is any­one else hear­ing this?

–1 Train

Over­heard by: ryn