Young woman, after vomiting all over the train: I’m fine.
Young man: You’re not fine, you just threw up!
Young woman: Well, I’m fine now.
–Q Train
Overheard by: MPW
Archive for November, 2008
And Has Better Legs Than I Do!
Woman: Is angel a boy or a girl?
Teenager: Angel’s a boy, mom.
Woman: But he sounds like a girl!
–Nederlander Theatre
Plus I Ate a Latke Once.
Dominican #1: But I’m a Jew, man!
Dominican #2: You’re a Jew?
Dominican #1: Shit yeah.
Dominican #2: Man, I didn’t know there was any Jewish Dominicans.
Dominican #1: Not that kind of Jew. You ever met a Dominican Jew? Dominicans aren’t Jews! I just feel Jewish, man. My whole life I’ve been feelin’ Jewish like that. You know, like if there’s a penny on the street I pick it up!
–168th St Subway
That Was the Night I Became a Man
Guy #1: Getting old is not cool, man. I walked in on my mom in the shower once, it was gross…her boobs go down to her fucking knees.
Guy #2: No, they don’t.
Guy #1: Yeah, what the fuck do you know?
(pause)
Guy #2: So, remember that party where she got drunk and smoked that salvia?
–14th St
I Liked the Part Where It Said “S E X” in the Sky
Teen #1: Yo, scar’s a thug…
Teen #2: But he didn’t even kill him! He pushed him off a motherfuckin’ cliff!
Teen #1: And then he got trampled by some…wilda’beast or some shit.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Church Avenue? Figures
Woman: God loves us all. It doesn’t matter if you have a lot of money or where you come from. It’s time for you to give yourself to him. Believe in god!
Man #1: Hey! Get off the PCP!
Man #2: Lady, shut the fuck up! Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Woman: Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. (leaves)
–F Line, Church Ave Stop
Overheard by: carrieb
I’m Good, Thanks
Hobo to cashier: Hey, Mike, are you a junkie?
Cashier: No.
Hobo: Would you like to be?
–Love Saves the Day, 7th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Caelster
So Could You Mop the Amniotic Fluid Off the Floor or What?
Managerial-looking guy in suit in lobby of movie theater: So let me get this straight. Your pregnant wife left in the middle of the movie, but you’re still here.
Husband: Yeah, but I gave her cab fare.
–84th & Broadway
Mamma Mia, That’s a Spicy Matzoh Ball!
Guy #1: You must be Italian.
Guy #2: Uh…no, I’m Jewish.
Guy #1: Are you sure? You really look Italian.
Guy #2: Of course I’m sure. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Guy #3: I don’t like where this is going.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jenya
Except Muslims, of Course
Cute teenage girl: Ma, what’s with that Pope? Isn’t he a pedophile or something?
Mother: This is New York, honey. We take everybody.
–21st St & 5th Ave
