Eight-year-old girl: Well, we could go to a movie for a date!
Mother: I don’t know about that…
Eight-year-old girl (seriously): It’s not like we’re going to share popcorn!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: redefining childhood sweethearts
Archive for November, 2008
Captain Jack Sparrow Has Pirates Who Do That
Guy on date: Everything in my kitchen is from Crate and Barrel.
Girl on date: Oh.
Guy: My cups, my saucers, my plates, I have an espresso machine…
Girl: Wow.
Guy: Yeah, but I haven’t mopped the floor in over a month.
–Broadway & Houston
As Much So As Anything at the MoMA
19-year-old kid, examining stack of legal-sized paper with type on it in a stairwell corner area: It’s art.
19-year-old friend: It’s art?
19-year-old kid: I guess.
–Whitney Museum, Biennial Exhibit
Overheard by: Amanda
Coming Soon to Reality TV: Homicide or Furry Ride?
JAP #1: Oh my god, did you hear about what Aaron wrote on Brittany’s Facebook wall?
JAP #2: Oh my god, yeah, that’s like, disgusting. Like, she looks like a fucking koala.
JAP #1: Totally. Like, who wants to date a tree climbing marsupial?
JAP #2: Fuck no! I’d rather kill my brother!
–Saks Fifth Avenue
…Sell at 23! …I Said Sell at 23!
Mom to six-year old son on cell: Come on, Christopher, let’s go.
Six-year old son: What! I’m on the phone!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Never Having Children
Every New Yorker Should Have One Of Those
50-something man (picking up small box): Look at this! You could put your dope in this!
Wife: You wouldn’t be able to fit very much dope in there…I could use it to hold my bitterness.
–Store, Crosby St
From The Alcoholic Miser’s Guide to the Big Apple
Server: Would you ladies like iced water or bottled water?
20-something girl: Do we have to pay for bottled water?
Server: Um, yes.
20-something girl: Oh, then no. I’ll just have a beer.
–Pisticci Restaurant, La Salle & Broadway
Overheard by: Edd
Dude, Don’t Tease the Homeless
Homeless woman on train walking around with a tip cup after playing the guitar: Please spare some change. Somebody. Anybody!
30-something Guido, pulling out a $20: Do you have change?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Maria
Hippies Are Into Sexual Assault?
Hippie chick #1: Dude, I fucking love Demuth.
Hippie chick #2: I know, right!
Hippie chick #1: If I ever met that man, I’d totally rape him.
Hippie chick #2: Oh my god! I would too!
–The Met
Come Back When I’ve Grown This Out and I’ll See What I Can Do
Customer holding $300 worth of lighting equipment: You know, if you want to give me a discount that would be totally fine with me.
Only non-hasidic employee in sight: Sorry sir, its not my store…I don’t even have the right haircut.
–BH Photo
