Tourist girl #1: You know that movie Juno? Is it named after “Ju-no”, like, “You know?”…“Ju-no”?
Tourist girl #2: I think it’s her name.
Tourist girl #1: Oh… Ok.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Emily
Archive for 2008
Now Are You Gonna Order or Do You Wanna Fuck With Me Some More?
Customer: Can I get an eggplant and mozzarella sandwich?
Employee: We outta eggs.
Customer: No, not eggs… Eggplant.
Employee: We outta eggs.
Customer: But eggplant and eggs are two entirely different things…
Employee, winking: The customer is always right.
–Au Bon Pain, Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Caelster
Assuming That What Suburban 13-Year-Olds Have Can Be Considered a “Life”
13-year-old boy #1: Dude, you know what I did? I totally called Donna and told her you made a date with a fat chick.
13-year-old boy #2: You did not.
13-year-old boy #1: I totally did. She thought it was really funny. Sorry.
13-year-old boy #3: You guys are wasting my time and my life. [gets up and leaves]
–Cosi, 13th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: thank god i’m not 13 anymore
I Waited in Vain for a Blonde Ingenue
[two white women are leaving a performance of The Color Purple]Woman #1: So what did you think?
Woman #2: I don’t know. It was good I guess. It was just…
Woman #1: What?
Woman #2: Very… Black or something.
–Outside The Broadway Theatre, 53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Brandi
Men Rightly Fear the Pitter Patter of Labia Minora
Girl #1: She yelled at me for being a stalker!
Girl #2: Why? What did you do?
Girl #1: I was following him with my eyes.
Girl #2: Oh! That’s not so bad. It’s not like you were actually following him, like… With your feet.
Girl #3: Or your vagina.
–Wagner College
Hobo Rule #293: Know Your Audience
Homeless man walking towards group of queers: Hey guys! “The sun’ll come out…“
Queers, elated: “Tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be sun…”
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Didn’t They Kick Beethoven Off the Charts?
Skinny 20-something guy: Before grunge there was nothing. The world was hungry for grunge.
Shorter 20-something guy: Yeah, I’ve just rediscovered Stone Temple Pilots
–F Train
Overheard by: Jen
Are Boxes Supposed to Do That?
Woman #1: That Italian wine I got was gooooood!
Woman #2: Yeah?
Woman #1: Yeah! It popped open like a bottle of champagne!
–14th & 3rd
The Emotional Distress Alone Will Cost You Four-Weeks’ Allowance
Little boy #1: I’m going to smash your bike!
Little boy #2: Well, if you smash my bike, I’m going to get a lawyer and sue you!
–Central Park
And, Most Importantly, Do You Have Alcohol?
Guy #1: I have a moral dilemma.
Guy #2: Does it involve alcohol?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: Does it require alcohol?
–F Train
Overheard by: Sarah
