Archive for 2008

And That’s Why He’s Homeless

Bum: Give me a dollar!
Guy: I’ll give you two dollars!
Bum: Give me a dollar.
Guy: I’ll give you two dollars!
Bum: You’ll give me two dollars?
Guy: On Friday.
Bum: No. Give me a dollar.
Guy: Hey, I’ll give you five dollars on Friday if you give me a dollar right now.
Bum: You want me to give you money?
Guy: A dollar. Right now. For five on Friday.
[Bum walks away.] 

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Andy

John Goodman Would Retaliate Later in Life

Little boy: I want a Cinnabon for breakfast!
Dour mom: Now, Matthew, let me ask you a question. How many grams of sugar does a Cinnabon have?
Little boy, dejectedly: Seven.
Dour mom: And how many grams of sugar are you allowed to eat at breakfast?
Little boy: Fiiiive.
Dour mom: Well then, don’t you think… [they go out of hearing range] 

–5 Train

Overheard by: Jonathan Harford